My experience of attending Power, Surrender, and Intimacy (PSI) was transformative, spiritually healing, and soulfully invigorating.
My journey to PSI was a long one. I did not choose to step into the circle for more than seven years after I took my first Celebrating the Body Erotic workshop.

Facing my fear

In retrospect, I think I did not choose to take the workshop until later in my development for a variety of reasons. I had convinced myself I was adequately in my masculine power. I felt I preferred the subtlety of soft connection. And, I thought “I knew” what PSI was, so I did not need to step into it.
In truth, I stayed away because of fear.
My history with more intense sensation in connection is complex. Raised to “be a man,” I felt that I already knew that path, and I grew up feeling discouraged from participating in anything characterized as feminine.  That was why finding Body Electric was so fulfilling. I found a place to celebrate alternative sensation that I, in my limited perspective, could only define as feminine—soft, gentle, and loving.  I believed that PSI would not honor that part of me.
As I progressed through my learning, especially through Tantra, I came to recognize how this dichotomy failed me. I began to learn that in connection there can be incredible intensity in subtlety, and, as in all things, also incredible emptiness and disconnectedness.

Recognizing it was time

When I chose to step into the circle at PSI, I recognized that it was the next step in my journey. I had already spent significant time in therapy working on childhood trauma. As a child, I experienced wounding from a loved one who denied me the power of consent. That wound showed up later in my life, through unhealthy behaviors and a lack of awareness that I was not standing in my power. Although talk therapy was helpful, it was time to re-educate my body experientially about consent, and the power of receptive/penetrative energy exchange in a safe, conscious, connected space.
It was time.
What I discovered was that, in some ways, I had come home, and in others, I was not the same person. Not only was the energy I brought into the space accepted, but it was celebrated — I was thoroughly cared for.
In the same community of men who introduced me to the world of connection, peace, and spiritual celebration of my body, I could now explore other facets of my embodiment.  I left with additional skills and a stronger sense of my personal power.

Being open to my healing

Beyond everything I learned and experienced in the weekend, I discovered my fears about the workshop were unfounded. I was empowered to say no to anything I chose not to participate in, and encouraged to ask for what I wanted. I experienced exquisite connection with others, and I was cared for minute by minute.
I had to endure nothing.
In that space, I learned how to demand consent, to listen to my body, and to recognize the healing that is available through intense sensation.
Whenever I am asked, I first share that Power, Surrender, and Intimacy is not for everyone – at least not until they are ready. Each individual will decide when they they are ready.  To determine your readiness, it is helpful consider where you are on your path. It helps to ask yourself whether the work will challenge you in ways that, in the end, will benefit you.
There is no greater time to learn about yourself than now. Because now is all that exists.
If you DO choose to step into the circle at an upcoming PSI workshop, I invite you to join in with an open mind, a curiosity to experiment, and the desire to accept and celebrate the gifts you gain through the experience.

More about this workshop

Registration is currently open for Power, Surrender, and Intimacy for Men: A Residential, in early November. Men who register have to have previously completed Celebrating the Body Erotic for Men. For more information, visit this page.